...who knew the Devil looked so harmless?
Maybe you think I am exaggerating? I'm a dog hater, I actually think of myself as a reformed dog hater. It's not that I inherently don't like dogs, I just don't like dirty things. Something about petting a dog and then feeling like I have little germs all over my hands. Or seeing a dog roll in the dirt/other "brown" things found in parks and then come into a house and roll its back all over the floor or couch or bed...you get the idea. All this aside, I must admit that I would LOVE to get a mini dachshund sometime (Mark insists on a more manly dog). All of this is besides the point.
Several months ago our neighbor got a dog - something that looks like a mini Cairn Terrier. This dog is cute, probably about 4 pounds...so tiny you really could drop kick the little thing (why someone would ever want to is beyond me :) At first we didn't notice much, but that has all changed since this summer. It is now to the point where Mark and I are consistently woken up 5 out of 7 days a week by this %&$* dog. I have diagnosed it with separation anxiety - and our neighbor must leave EARRRRLLYYY - because at 7 or earlier the barking begins! Yes, you people with kids are probably scoffing at this but Mark and I go to bed late and get up* (or should I say set our alarms - when we wake depends on the dog) for 8 am on a good day.
I've considered several interventions. Leaving a nice note under the door, kidnapping our little friend and sending her to a family with small kids somewhere in suburbia - leaving an angry note. Anyhow, maybe some of you New Yorkers out there can give me some advice on proper dog etiquette in the city. Should I just accept this? Should I say something? Am I sounding desperate...
Until I figure things out I am trying to focus on staying calm when I get woken up out peaceful sleep by the yapping next door. Lets say I've got some work to do. Until then I will leave you with these thoughts on what the devil really looks like...
Per Ryan's brilliant comment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgfHNIMompM
7 comments:
Your fellow New Yorkers Elaine and Kramer have solved this problem! Find the episode online and I think you'll find it funny.
http://www.pestcontrol-products.com/rodent/rodent_baits_lethal.htm
too funny! I thought of the sienfeld episode too - you should speak to ur neighbor - then call 311 if u live in nyc
I like James' approach--especially if you can slide some appropriate lethal baits under the front door...by 8 am, your problem is gone, forever. Careful about shipping Satan to the suburbs; we had a woman in Mpls try to mail a dog to a friend--the post office discovered the contents of the package and she ended up on all the news outlets (I think she had bigger problems than we can imagine.) So, good luck with the battle. Keep the guns locked up. Check out the cost of debarking the dog--maybe we can start a fund. How about teaming up with Opera-Man? He can move his practices to the hallway--outside her door in the late evening? That would foster an appropriate conversation.
I just wanted to thank you for commenting on my blog, I mentioned you today - your words encouraged me :)
That made me laugh OUT LOUD. So funny.Love you.I see nothing wrong with slipping Benedryl strips under the door each day. It would make for a very sleepy puppy. JK
Who goes there?
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